don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
