I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
