My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize