I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
