Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize