would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
