break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
