no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
