He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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