It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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