so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
