Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
