I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
