hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
