my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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