And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
