he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize