i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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