And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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