I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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