I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My ass is underappreciated
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
