Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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