it hurts more in the daytime
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize