Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
