It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
