Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
