haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
