found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize