sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
