Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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