i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
