also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize