When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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