Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
