ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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