Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
