In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize