New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
it glows. i had to have it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Congratulations! We have a period
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