another moral hangover. fuck.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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