Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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