You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
