Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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