My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize