just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
