Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you win again, gameday.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
