and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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