Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
