I want to walk on stilts...naked
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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