I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
