conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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