She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
