what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
