One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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