i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
