i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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