In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
