Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
