I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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