that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
