the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize