I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
