Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
