dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
