Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
