im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
