Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
