I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
