It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
