she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
