i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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