So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
