Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
