if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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