And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
