I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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