i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
