I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
