I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
