LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
