He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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