1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
