feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
