Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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