proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
