So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
