I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
