You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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