her vagine was all disorganized.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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